Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Giving ....

My friend E. (who does so much for neglected animals here) stayed over with clients in our guest house over the weekend, and I took these festive cupcakes around for her with a Christmas card one evening. It always feels good to spread a little festive cheer at this time of the year .....

Whilst the festive season may be a time of indulgence and abundance for many, it’s also a time of hardship for many others. Imagine not having enough food for your family over Christmas, let alone presents ? Imagine not having a proper roof over your head, or being ill and not having enough money to get the medicine you need. Sadly, this is a reality for many people – especially those in poverty stricken parts of Africa.

Of course, we all know this. So … we make donations of some sort to people less fortunate than ourselves – to ease our conscience, or because we really feel it will make a difference ? Because it is the ‘right thing to do’ or because we really feel that we’ll enjoy our extravagant Christmas without any feeling of guilt for those less fortunate than us, because we’ve ‘done our bit’ ?

I see so much poverty around me. I see so much excess, too. I see spoilt expatriate children on one hand, and hungry local children on the other. Not everywhere, mind – but wherever I choose to look. That’s if I choose not to look away. As many here do. I used to look away sometimes – before I had children of my own. Sometimes it’s easier that way …. not to have to look at someone else’s pain. Almost as if you don’t look, it’ll go away. And you can just carry on with your life.

My mother instilled in me from a very young age the value of giving to others. I grew up as a child in Zimbabwe, watching people come to the back door of our house as she gave them food, clothing, medicine – things that they needed. She taught me – not so much in her words as in her actions – that if you have more than someone else, you should help them out. No question.

I think that many children these days are really pampered. I joke with my own 5 year old daughter, when she balks when I ask her to help me with something trivial for her little brother … like ‘Please fetch me his toy’ … I tell her ‘If you were living long ago, you would be bringing your little brother up and feeding him, changing his nappies and looking after other brothers and sisters too, whilst Mummy went out to work cleaning and ironing for a living or something (and Daddy worked down a coal mine) so don’t you get in a huff when I ask you to bring me his toy’. Then afterwards I feel guilty – shame, she is only 5 after all. But then on the other hand, I don’t want her to grow up only knowing the good things in life. Or being spoilt.

So this year, I decided that she was old enough to appreciate the value of giving to other children less fortunate than her. My guest room cupboard is BURSTING to the seams with Christmas gifts sent to the kids from family in the UK, South Africa and dear friends from Tanzania and as far away as Spain – so I decided it was time for a little clear out, to make way for the new stuff.

I began a couple of weeks ago by completely ‘de cluttering’ our home and sorting through clothes and household items – it felt so great to get rid of ‘stuff’ and de clutter …. making way for the New Year … my daughter watched, and I explained what I was doing - and then I sat her down and spoke to her about her own toys.

I explained to her that by getting rid of toys that she no longer used that much (not her much loved or 'special' toys), she could give them to needy children in our area – children who otherwise may have nothing at all this Christmas. Children who, perhaps, have never had a teddy bear or a doll of their own. ‘Just imagine’, I said, ‘the joy that you will bring to a little girl when she sees this doll ?’ My daughter was reluctant at first, and it was not an easy process – but we spent a good hour or so and she eventually got into the whole thing and that night when I put her to bed, she hugged me and told me that she was glad that her ‘old toys’ would be given to children who would love them as she had.

I have split the toys into age appropriate bags and we have given them to our own staff and then to the neediest of families in our community. I have also put together food parcels (rice, sugar, oil, tea, juice, sweets, fruit) for our immediate staff, as I do each year.

I now plan to make this ‘toy clear out’ an annual tradition in the weeks leading up to Christmas. Something I plan to do with the children each year – so that they never forget how lucky they are to have what they have. So that they never take what they have for granted. I’ll clear out my own clothes and household things at the same time each year, too. And I hope that one day my kids will realize … that it really is true what they say about the joy you get in giving to others. That they, too, will feel the delight of making a difference where it really matters. And that sometimes - just one small teddy bear, is all that it takes.